Dear Tirzah, Happy 11 month anniversary!

On Tirzah’s 11 month anniversary, I finally put all her clothes and car seat in storage.

She’s truly gone from this earth and she’s not coming back.

But I *will* go to her… one day.

I will go to {her}, but {she} will not return to me. ~ 2 Samuel 12:23, {King David when his infant child died}

I feel a true sense of peace and hope, almost a year after her death. I often think of her life verse: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come away…” And I know that it was the Lord who truly called her home.

Yet still Death is an Enemy… Death entered the world through sin, and death is of the Evil One. He came to thieve and destroy (John 10:10- The Thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ; Romans 5:12- Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned..)

But now I have learned another secret to deep peace in the midst loss in this life: *Make a mockery of Death and of Evil itself.*

Where, O Death, is your victory?? Where, O Death, is your sting?? 

The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

Tirzah’s death is no “loss”… it is my gain. Eternal Gain.

I speak of her life, her resurrection life… which is the only *true* and eternal life. While I do mourn- for I do miss her presence with me in this life and for now feel the chasm of time that separates; I mourn *with hope*- and that is true hope- based on the Resurrection of Jesus- for He defeated sin and death… He was our Forerunner, and our guarantee.

And now I feel more free than ever to truly live… “For my life [ on this earth] worth *nothing* to  me… *except* that I may testify to the Gospel of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24)

From The Cry of the Soul, by Dan Allender… These words are my very heart:

When I heard of Elizabeth’s death, I cried tears of joy and relief for her, mixed with a flood of my own grief… I just imagined how very very long she had waited for that day- to be reunited with Jim… and with her Savior. And I thought, that’s how I’m going to feel…  when I’m old, and probably in a nursing home, getting ready to die, I’ll just think- “finally, finally… I’ve *waited so long*… and now I get to see Tirzah… and my Savior face to face.”

Elizabeth Elliot is a wonderful mentor and example of looking to eternal things, seeking and serving the Kingdom of God in the aftermath of tragedy and death. I pray in some small portion to follow in her footsteps. (She along with the other wives whose husbands were also murdered, stayed to minister to these people, and they all excepted God’s gift of grace and forgiveness. One of the other men’s sons was even baptized by his father’s murderer. A truly miraculously scandalous story of God’s mercy!!)

And now that I am not guarding or protecting my life as precious… I feel that the possibilities are endless and I am excited to pray and watch how the Lord will lead our lives to serve His Kingdom until that day when we cross the River Jordan to the Promised Land.

Tirzah has been my beautiful little prophetess to teach me to “love the appearing” of the Lord (2 Tim 4:8), not the things of this world.

…and the day of death {is} better than the day of birth. ~ Ecclesiastes 7:1

Author: CatherineKnight36

First of all, I love Jesus. I am a wife to an amazing man, and mother of three: my 5 year old son Jeremiah, 1 year old son Judah, and my daughter, Tirzah, now 3 years, is waiting for me in the gardens of Heaven. I am also a Veterinarian. The goal of my blog: Creating community around an honest journey through the joy and grief of life. Blog Topics: Child loss and grief; Attachment Theory in Parenting; Mental Heatlh; Christian Theology and Ministry; Veterinary Medicine; and Community Stories. View all posts by CatherineKnight36