Our trip to Miami was our first family trip without Tirzah… we had a wonderful time in the sun and on the beach, but we felt the loss of Tirzah not with us. On the flight to Florida, there was a newborn baby girl in front of us… crying. I told Ryan what my dad would say: “music to my ears!! I haven’t heard a baby cry all day!” … and then a tear fell down my cheek, because it would be the most beautiful music in the world to hear Tirzah cry just once. The only one who saw my tear was her older brother across the aisle.

It was sad to see other families there with small children… who all had siblings to play with on their family trip… and then to see Jeremiah without his sister… was hard. Tirzah will always always be missing from our family. And I think we will especially feel it in the “happy” times. Jeremiah was thinking about Tirzah too. One day as we were walking back to our room, from the pool Jeremiah said: “Tirzah is not in your tummy… she came out.”

We visited a little church in Miami on Sunday night called, “Crossbridge Church”, and I cried as we sang this worship song, by Casting Crowns:

The sun cannot compare to the glory of Your love
There is no shadow in Your presence
No mortal man would dare to stand before Your throne
Before the Holy One of heaven
It’s only by Your blood
It’s only through Your mercy
Lord, I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King
No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing
Jesus, may you receive the honor that You’re due
O Lord, I bring an offering to You

As I sang, I thought of how I’ve said recently that Tirzah is my alabaster jar… my offering of *immeasurable cost*, broken before the feet of Jesus… for His glory…  how I have prayed and pleaded with the Lord that her life, and my sorrow would all be for His glory, and His Kingdom… I pictured the day that I will be holding Tirzah’s hand, and kneeling before the throne together… and knowing that this gift is blood-bought… the Holy blood of the sinless-Lamb.

And then on the drive back to the airport i listened to a song by Selah, “God be with you”, and I thought of that vision again… my *long awaited* reunion with Tirzah:

Till we meet, till we meet,
Till we meet at Jesus’ feet

Till we meet, till we meet,
God be with you till we meet again.

First of all, I love Jesus. I am a wife to an amazing man, and mother of three: my 5 year old son Jeremiah, 1 year old son Judah, and my daughter, Tirzah, now 3 years, is waiting for me in the gardens of Heaven. I am also a Veterinarian. The goal of my blog: Creating community around an honest journey through the joy and grief of life. Blog Topics: Child loss and grief; Attachment Theory in Parenting; Mental Heatlh; Christian Theology and Ministry; Veterinary Medicine; and Community Stories.

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