“Is it proper to cry for a baby so small
for such a tiny coffin?
Yes, i think it is.
Does Jesus have my too-small baby
in his tender arms?
Yes, I think he does.
There is so much I do not know
About you- my child- my Tirzah-
Will I recognize someone i knew so little about,
Yet loved so much?
Yes, I think I will.
Ah, sweet, small child
Can I say that loving you is like loving God?
Loving- yet not seeing,
Holding- yet not touching,
Caressing- yet separated by the chasm of time.
Our broken hearts mark your sojourn,
And God has called you by name.
The banquet was not canceled,
just moved. Just moved.
Yet my tears remain, and flow
Where my baby should have been,
nestled under my chin.
(adapted, some words changed, from Bob Neudorf, “To My Baby”; a poem someone sent to me)
delight of my life 
Tirzah, I went to the grave today where just your earthly body is but not you. I saw the little pink shoes that you would have worn. I cry for Catherine’s, Ryan[s, and my own pain at not having you here. But I know that is selfish and that you are much happier than I can ever imagine. But I still feel the pain. People say that time helps. I’m still waiting for that to begin. Love you, Grandma
LikeLike
Thank you for writing to Tirzah too, I know she loved it! But it is not selfish to cry… please don’t think that. God doesn’t intend for you to feel guilty. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and that was not selfish, and Jesus did not feel guilty about his grief.
LikeLike