The banquet was not canceled

“Is it proper to cry for a baby so small
for such a tiny coffin?
Yes, i think it is.
Does Jesus have my too-small baby
in his tender arms?
Yes, I think he does.
There is so much I do not know
About you- my child- my Tirzah-
Will I recognize someone i knew so little about,
Yet loved so much?
Yes, I think I will.
Ah, sweet, small child
Can I say that loving you is like loving God?
Loving- yet not seeing,
Holding- yet not touching,
Caressing- yet separated by the chasm of time.
Our broken hearts mark your sojourn,
And God has called you by name.
The banquet was not canceled,
just moved. Just moved.
Yet my tears remain, and flow
Where my baby should have been,
nestled under my chin.

(adapted, some words changed, from Bob Neudorf, “To My Baby”; a poem someone sent to me)

IMG_3398 Akissforever


Author: CatherineKnight36

First of all, I love Jesus. I am a wife to an amazing man, and mother of three: my 5 year old son Jeremiah, 1 year old son Judah, and my daughter, Tirzah, now 3 years, is waiting for me in the gardens of Heaven. I am also a Veterinarian. The goal of my blog: Creating community around an honest journey through the joy and grief of life. Blog Topics: Child loss and grief; Attachment Theory in Parenting; Mental Heatlh; Christian Theology and Ministry; Veterinary Medicine; and Community Stories.

2 thoughts on “The banquet was not canceled”

  1. Tirzah, I went to the grave today where just your earthly body is but not you. I saw the little pink shoes that you would have worn. I cry for Catherine’s, Ryan[s, and my own pain at not having you here. But I know that is selfish and that you are much happier than I can ever imagine. But I still feel the pain. People say that time helps. I’m still waiting for that to begin. Love you, Grandma


  2. Thank you for writing to Tirzah too, I know she loved it! But it is not selfish to cry… please don’t think that. God doesn’t intend for you to feel guilty. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and that was not selfish, and Jesus did not feel guilty about his grief.


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