Dear Tirzah,

you are *always* in our hearts and thoughts. Every moment of every day you are woven into our lives.

It hurts so much this morning. Maybe it was seeing the newborn girl photos online? I had everything ready for you, every detail I could think of. I wish I had just one moment to see the pinkness of your body, to feel your life. Just o have one moment to hold you and comfort you the way a mommy is designed to do. I wish I had a moment to really *be* your mommy.

You are my dream come true Tirzah. I had always wanted a daughter. I’ll tell you a little secret ;o) : when I found out that Jeremiah was a boy, it took me about two weeks to adjust! ha! I wanted a girl so bad!

I couldn’t wait for Ryan to meet you. I knew it would be so special for him to have a daughter. I don’t think he realized it would be special in a different way, but I did. I wanted to see him rock his baby girl to sleep- I know he’d *never* be able to put you down.

And if I had you now I’d never be able to let you go, maybe that’s why God took you in my womb. He knew I’d never survive it if I had to let you go from my arms.

I just want to send 1000 kisses up to you, and imagine that your mommy can stroke your cheek again.

You’re so beautiful to your mommy. The most beautiful princess the world has ever known, my Tirzah.

*love* you, and I can’t wait for our eyes to finally meet on that *triumphant* day!

First of all, I love Jesus. I am a wife to an amazing man, and mother of three: my 5 year old son Jeremiah, 1 year old son Judah, and my daughter, Tirzah, now 3 years, is waiting for me in the gardens of Heaven. I am also a Veterinarian. The goal of my blog: Creating community around an honest journey through the joy and grief of life. Blog Topics: Child loss and grief; Attachment Theory in Parenting; Mental Heatlh; Christian Theology and Ministry; Veterinary Medicine; and Community Stories.

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