Dear Tirzah,

Mommy didn’t wake up so sad this morning. I love you so much, and yesterday it just hurt so bad to miss you and remember your sweet face. I wish I had more time with you, but I know we’ll have eternity. And I know that this life is like the blink of an eye or like a breath that is quickly gone. It just doesn’t *feel* like that. And now getting old- gray, wrinkly and worn doesn’t sound so bad, because it means I’m nearer to you. And I’m excited to celebrate you for my life time and watch you continue to touch people’s lives throughout my life.

And I’m so excited to tell you- we are going to celebrate your birthday every ear with a party and collect gifts and baby items to donate. And we’ll praise the Lord together as we remember you.

Tirzah, you’ve taught me to *know* in my heart and with all my being that it is “better to be with the Lord”- My hope and my home is not in this life. It’s with Jesus and in Heaven with you. I am, as Paul said, a “sojourner” here on the earth, just passing through. And Tirzah, *thank you* for teaching your mommy- i pray to the Lord for grace and His Spirit to teach me even more to live in light of eternity. “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” I want to pour myself out for people hurting in this world, for my family, I want to live in communion with the Lord…. And the prayer i prayed for you, while you were growing within me, that you would one day walk with God as Enoch did, I feel that now you’re praying that back for me. And Tirzah, you encourage your mommy so much. I’m so thankful for you. And i pray for unshakable faith- that I would trust God so fully that even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t write the story differently. It sounds like a contradiction- to hurt so much for you, but I wouldn’t. I would *not* change the story…… love and one thousand kisses from your mommy. I miss you Tirzah.

2 Corinthians 5:2, 6-9; 4:14-18

For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord,  for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.  So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him… knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence.  For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

First of all, I love Jesus. I am a wife to an amazing man, and mother of three: my 5 year old son Jeremiah, 1 year old son Judah, and my daughter, Tirzah, now 3 years, is waiting for me in the gardens of Heaven. I am also a Veterinarian. The goal of my blog: Creating community around an honest journey through the joy and grief of life. Blog Topics: Child loss and grief; Attachment Theory in Parenting; Mental Heatlh; Christian Theology and Ministry; Veterinary Medicine; and Community Stories.

One Comment on “Dear Tirzah 9/26/14

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